To Hell with Part-Time Beer Writers and Contract Brewers!

Provocative title, yes? Good, because that’s what it is meant to be, but imagine for a second if I really meant it.

Imagine if I wrote a column about how important it is that every person writing about beer should be doing it as their sole source of income, with no “day job” or sidelines to keep the rent/mortgage paid and the lights on. Now imagine further that I implied through said column that those who do not write full-time are somehow less worthy than are those few of us who do, and that the fruits of their labours, ie: the articles and reviews they pen, are therefore by definition second class.

You’d probably think at best that I was rather full of myself, and most likely also that I’m an ass. And so you should.

Now change the above scenario to brewing rather than writing, and brewers in brick-and-mortar breweries and contract or so-called “gypsy” brewers rather than full- and part-time writers. Only this time you needn’t imagine it because it’s happening now. Again.

I’ve been writing about beer for 23 years, so I’ve lived through all this a few times now, and I’m here to tell you that it’s an utterly undignified debate. It smacks in turn of protectionism and claims of superiority, or at least greater legitimacy, and it is utterly meaningless to the vast, overwhelming majority of those who drink craft beer.

Why? Because like me, most of them don’t care whether the beer was born in a wholly-owned or sometimes borrowed brewery. They care whether or not it is good. Period.

Is there reason for the craft brewing industry to be debating owned breweries versus contractors – what Tim Webb and I have dubbed ‘beer commissioners’ – and “gypsies”? Yes, there may be, but internally. It’s a brewer-to-brewer and owner-to-commissioner debate, folks, and something that only looks petty and mud-slinging to outside entities. And what’s more, it will have no positive effect on the audience for your beer, so there is zero benefit to making it public.

(To those that say this is a fight for legitimacy and that the public will turn against beer commissioners if they know the true nature of what they do, I have three words for you: Boston Beer Company.)

When the craft beer biz gets together, as it did last week in Washington for the 6,400 person strong Craft Beer Conference, there is a tendency to forget that much of the beer drinking world is still blissfully unaware that alternatives to Bud and Coors Light even exist But it remains the reality that only the very fringe of the beer cognoscenti, itself a tiny, tiny minority of beer drinkers, is interested in this sort of internal debate. For the rest of the world, all that matters is what is in the glass.

Or, to return to my imaginary example, what’s on the page. And so far as I’m concerned, that’s the way it should be.

Shorts in Knots Over Glassware

If you’re read my previous post, the one about not stealing beer glasses, then likely you’ll also know that Sam Calagione and Ken Grossman and a few others have come up with a new glass designed, they say, for the drinking of IPA. And certain people, including my good friend Mr. Lew Bryson, have reacted rather badly to it.

“Jesus H. Christ,” Lew railed on his Facebook page, “More prescriptive bullshit about how we’re supposed to drink our beer.” That little post garnered, at last count, 76 “likes” and 83 comments in two days, the majority of which were in agreement. One commenter even went so far as to maintain that “(s)tuff like this is ruining the experience of enjoying the beer itself, I believe.”

Me, I’m of two minds. As anyone who regularly or even occasionally reads these missives will know, I’m a great proponent of glassware, but more on the side of aesthetics than function. I hate the “shaker” pint glass because I think it’s ugly and presents the beer poorly – any beer, from IPA to Trappist ale to mass-produced lager. I like the glasses I keep sequestered in a dedicated cabinet because they look good and thus enhance my beer-drinking – or cocktail sipping or wine supping or spirits enjoying – experience. In my occasional role as hospitality industry consultant, I advise against the shaker because I feel its use is a false economy and ultimately detrimental to beer sales.

Whether the shaker makes the beer inside taste inferior to, say, a chalice or a nonic pint or Lew’s favourite Willi Becher, I do not know. I should probably do some research into it, but how does one objectively analyze flavour out of glassware without at least laying one’s hand upon the glass and so influencing one’s perception in some small fashion?

(For the record, while I have not yet held the glass in question in my hand, my initial impression from the photos I have seen – like this one – is that it does not rate terribly high on the aesthetic scale. Better than the Boston Beer glass, for sure, but way below many other glasses, including pretty much every one currently residing in my cabinet.

However, the point is that its existence is harmless. No one is forcing anyone to drink out of it, and I seriously doubt that either Sam or Ken would refuse you a 60 Minute or Torpedo should you not have one handy. They are part of a trend I’ve been noting for some time, namely the fetishizing of beer drinking, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Does anyone need a fancy, flip-knife-style bottle opener when an ordinary church key or, in a pinch, a lighter or rolled up magazine will do the job? No. Do I need a cabinet filled with glassware, roughly two-thirds of which is devoted to beer? Definitely not. Should you feel bad because you want to serve IPA but only own pilsner and weissbier glasses? In heaven’s name, no!

Wine has been fetishized for years now – hands up everyone who owns a rabbit or rabbit-style corkscrew! – and the cocktail geeks are doing their best with that segment of drinks. And if you’re a whisky drinker, someone is trying to sell you rocks to put in your drink, for crying out loud!

Beer is no different, so enjoy it or not, as you wish. Buy the new IPA glass or ignore it, but don’t get bent so out of shape about it. It’s just a glass, not a massive conspiracy to take the joy out of beer drinking.

Interesting Numbers from the World of Beer

Item 1: People keep asking me why I see a bright future for craft beer in Brazil despite all the significant obstacles – lack of distribution infrastructure, high prices, no “cold chain” of delivery in which the beer is kept cold from brewery to consumer – and sometimes I wonder about it myself.

Then I come across an article like this one in The Globe and Mail newspaper and it all comes together. In case you don’t want to read the whole story, or the link breaks because the Globe puts the story behind their pay wall, here’s the gist: With 50 million Brazilians joining the middle class in the last decade, that segment of the population is now about equal to the percentage that is poor, about 30% each.

This new middle class is aspirational, and they want to spend their money on items to which they previously had not enjoyed access – the story highlights perfume and cell phones – like craft beer. I’ve seen the gestation of this at bars like Melograno and FrangÓ in São Paulo and I expect to see a lot more of it on my next visit, whenever that might be.

Item 2: I continue to hear American brewers fret about the number of breweries popping up in their country, worried about the so-called “bust” that they think must surely follow the boom. Too many breweries, too many SKUs (brands listed with distributors) and too confusing for beer drinkers are a few of the concerns I regularly hear voiced.

Umm, folks, ever heard of the United Kingdom? It’s a land of about 62 million people, where the total number of breweries just surpassed 1,000! And while they have their own issues to deal with over there, I’ve not yet heard much in the way of griping about the number of breweries and possible saturation of the market.

To put that in perspective, to achieve the same ratio of breweries per capita, the United States would have to add about 2,900 breweries to their existing total, more than doubling the number in place today.

Item 3: This is not so much a numbers thing as it is a bit of a rant. Although it does relate to Item 2 above.

Yesterday’s Shanken News Daily carried a story headlined “Craft Controversy: Rotating Drafts Spark Concern Among Brewers,” in which it was suggested that “some craft brewers are beginning to show concern that the very diversity that they have long promoted…may actually be damaging to their companies and the craft beer category.”

The piece goes on to quote Bob Sullivan, vice president of sales and marketing at Kansas city’s Boulevard Brewing – a craft brewery I know and quite like and the tenth largest craft producer by volume in the U.S. – as saying that bars which rotate their draft taps rather than sticking with a specific line-up of brands are hurting the industry by not giving breweries an opportunity to build their brands.

More egregiously, the story quotes Jim Gray, national draft director at the beer importer Crown Imports, purveyors of Corona and Tsingtao, among other brands, as complaining that “retailers who are focused on rotating draft handles aren’t focused on building brands” and that these beer sellers are only interested in “the shiny new toy that is offered to them each month.”

Here’s a piece of advice for you, Jim and Bob and any other salesperson out there trying to flog draft beer: The job of the licensee is to keep their customers happy, not to build brands. (Ahem, that’s YOUR job.) And if customers want variety in their beer selection, as a vastly growing contingent of beers drinkers do, well, that’s just the new playing field. Get used to it!

The Craft BeerAdvent Calendar

Okay, it’s November still and too early to start writing about – shhhhhh! – Christmas, but December 1 is just around the corner and that’s when you’ll need to have your advent calendar in place if you want to have (almost) a month of fun.

Fun? Opening tiny doors to see a cute picture or sample an industrial chocolate? Are you kidding me?

No, not at all. Because the BeerAdvent Calendar I have in mind is big and heavy and filled with an assortment of European beers never or seldom before seen in Canada. And believe me when I tell you that some of them are actually very good.

Of course, I can’t tell you what all the beers are, because that would ruin the surprise, but I can say that they make for an interesting selection. (Yes, I went ahead and opened all the little doors so that I could better report on it.) A dozen of the beers are from Austria, and in truth they are among the least interesting overall, though some are still quite good and others are, um, not what you’d expect.

(That “not what you’d expect” part applies also to a beer from Germany — *cough*day 18*cough* — but I shouldn’t say more lest I give the game away.)

The remainder of the brews are mixed between Denmark, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands and Switzerland. Some are better than others, a few are truly spectacular – (sing it!) on the 23^rd day of Christmas my calendar gave to me, a pretty friggin’ awesome beer – and fittingly for December, ten of them are 7% alcohol or stronger.

The Calendar is a product of Craft Beer Importers of Alberta, although I’m told that it’s sold out in its home province. Some are apparently still available in parts of British Columbia, so check the Facebook page for availability and get yours soon.

Apparently, This Friday is Special

I’ve received a few emails now informing me that this Friday, September 28, is Drink Beer Day.

Really?

I must be confused, because I thought that Drink Beer Day was every day, always and forever.

The Beaumont-Webb Travelling Road Show

You may have noticed that I haven’t been posting much of late. Indeed (gulp!) for the last three weeks. There are reasons for this.

Reason number one is travel. As those of you who follow me on Twitter (@BeaumontDrinks) will know, I’ve been all over the place lately, and keeping on top of my various columns and assignments is almost all I can manage when I’m on the road.

Reason number two? That would be the prep time I’ve been spending getting organized to write my next book, but more about that at a later date.

And reason number three is the impending North American release of The World Atlas of Beer, the book I’ve co-written with Tim Webb. We’re pretty damn happy with it, and initial reviews have thus far been most encouraging. So we’re going to take this sucker on the road!

That’s right. Starting in early October, the esteemed Mr. Webb, himself the author of seven editions of the Good Beer Guide to Belgium, and I are going to be making a series of appearances across the United States, with most events already organized and some with details TBA. Here’s how it all is shaping up:

October 4: During the afternoon (exact hours TBD), Tim and I will be signing books at Monk’s Cafe in Philadelphia, followed by a World Atlas of Beer dinner at the Belgian Cafe. See www.monkscafe.com and www.thebelgiancafe.com for details.

October 6: We’ll be at the World Beer Festival in Durham, North Carolina, appearing at both sessions. www.allaboutbeer.com/gather-for-beer/world-beer-festival/durham-nc

October 7: Come visit us at the Flying Saucer in Raleigh, North Carolina. Event details TBA. www.beerknurd.com

October 8: We’re flying into Dallas to see how Texans react to Tim’s British accent during a beer dinner at the Meddlesome Moth. www.mothinthe.net

October 9: Back on the road, this time to the Austin Flying Saucer for another appearance with details TBA. www.beerknurd.com

October 10: Once more with feeling, this time at the Sugar Land, Texas, Flying Saucer. www.beerknurd.com

October 11 – 13: It’s Great American Beer Festival time, and we’ll be there signing books during the Thursday, Friday and Saturday afternoon sessions. God knows what else we’ll get up to… www.greatamericanbeerfestival.com

October 14: Tim is off to Seattle for an as-yet-undisclosed event at an as-yet-undecided locale, but I’ll be popping up in Chicago for a beer and whisky tasting at Rockwell’s Neighborhood Grill. Hey, it’s a bye week for the Bears, so what else are you going to do!? www.rockwellsgrill.com   

Get the Message: Women Drink Beer!

The inestimable Melissa Cole dug into her bag of outrage earlier today and came up with a mighty fistful of sexist bullshit, and bless her for it! Her examples are exclusively British, but the issue with sexism in beer — even more than sexism in spirits, and it’s pretty friggin’ bad over there, too — is widespread and global, and while it’s not as bad as it used to be, it can be still pretty egregious in some quarters..

Go read Melissa’s story over here.

What the brewers of beers like Slap & Tickle don’t seem to understand is that: a) women are beer consumers, too; and b) some men take offense at being treated like adolescent boys.

On the former point, one only has to turn to almost any beer festival, where females often seem as numerous as are males. (Although, to be fair, this is less the case at most European festivals than it is at North American ones.) Go to bars that specialize in beer and you’ll see women enjoying beer, often choosing from the more unusual offerings while the assembled males stick with their chosen brand. Stand outside of any store specializing in craft beer and you will find women leaving with interesting six-packs, perhaps not with the same frequency as men, but in steadily growing numbers.

On the latter, well, before I get comments about what a hopeless stick-in-the-mud I am and how I can’t take a joke,  let me say that among friends I have a  rather no-holds-barred approach to humour. But that’s because they know me and we understand each other. Where public advertising and product naming goes, it’s far, far more difficult to direct meaning or deliver nuance. What is put on display, be it a suggestive, boys-will-be-boys advertisement or a ribald pumpclip, will be judged for what it is, and a large number of mature and reasoned folk of both genders will judge it in the negative.

Worth considering the next time the topic of branding comes up in the brewhouse.

 

But Will the Idea Be Better Than the Beer?

Following the lead of any number of rock ‘n’ rollers, Motörhead has released a beer, Bastards Lager, although for now it’s only available in Sweden.

I am indebted to that Twittering fool, Mr. Pete Brown, for making me aware of both this development and the Drinks Business article from which I stole borrowed the graphic to the left. From that same article, viewable in its entirety here, comes the following wonderful paragraph:

At 4.7% the beer’s alcoholic strength is slightly less rock ‘n’ roll than the 7% ale recently released by the monks at a North Yorkshire monastery but Motörhead is not alone among rock groups in releasing wine and beer lines for their fans.

Beautiful.

The Chinese Elephant in the Brewery

I’ve been thinking a lot about the largest beer-producing country in the world of late. In case you are unaware, that’s China, which now brews over twice as much beer as the number two producer, the United States.  Then a release from the research firm Mintel arrives in my in-box and the numbers set me reeling.

What kind of numbers, you ask? This kind:

• China’s beer market grew by 29% in volume terms in the five years to 2011;
• The market also grew 63% in value terms over the same period;
• This resulted in a total volume of 50 billion liters (426 million barrels) of beer consumption in 2011;
• Which meant that year-on-year market growth for beer in 2011 was 13%!

And while I’ve thus far been able to unearth little about craft beer in China, consider this quote from Mintel’s director of China research,  Matthew Crabbe (emphasis mine): “While the market is booming, brewers need to compete more cleverly than ever before in order to engage with key consumer groups in China who will be key purchasers in the coming years, including the youth and women’s markets, as well as connoisseur drinkers of premium beers. The recent drop in growth of wine and spirits sales could leave room open for high-end ‘snob-brews’ to find new interest. “

Mark my words, you’re going to be hearing a lot more about beer in China in the coming months and years.

Churchkey Can Company — Seriously?

I’ve been hearing about this for a while now, each time gritting my teeth and vowing not to let the inner curmudgeon escape. But it’s gone too far. I have to make some sort of comment, especially after this piece of shameless pandering. Go ‘mudgy!

Church-frikkin’-key Frikkin’-Can Company. Oy! It’s not enough that we have stores selling ugly-ass 1970′s furniture, now we must endure retro-obsessed hipsters who think that the ultimate in cool is an old-fashioned “flat top” beer can! (BTW, “flat-top” is an invented term. When these things were actually the norm, they were simply known as “beer cans.”) Why it’s cool they don’t know, but the company has something to do with that dude from Entourage and, hey!, they have a neat video on their website showing you the right way to open the can! So it must be cool, right?

No, dumbass, it’s not. Any more than it would be really, really cool to take your clothes down to the stream and beat on them with a rock or haul around huge blocks of ice to keep your refrigerator cold. It’s called progress, and while it sometimes breeds bad things like beer that doesn’t really taste like beer and hamburgers that taste nothing like beef, it also makes our lives easier in many ways, like not needing to hunt around for a can punch every time you want to open a beer.

Note that this is NOT the same as the twist-off vs. pry cap issue. The twist-off is an inefficient seal that shreds fingers something like three out of every twenty tries, whereas the pry cap provides a nearly fail-proof seal that can be opened with anything from an opener to a lighter to a rolled-up magazine. The modern pull-top can, on the other hand, provides a great seal and opens without any extra equipment, whereas the “flat top” requires a very specific device to open it, which means that the only possible reason to change from the new to the old is pretension, pure and simple.

For all I know, the beer inside the Churchkey can is quite good, and given the chance I’ll be happy to try it and say what I think. But selling a beer of any sort based upon the kind of can it’s in harkens to the worst of the big brewing companies’ marketing manipulations, and if you fall for it, then you might as well also stock your fridge with cans that change colour when cold and bottles that swirl your beer as you pour.