Bad Beer Cocktails Redux

Oh dear, David Wondrich, what have you done, my friend? It’s bad enough when someone like Rachel Ray turns her ham-handed hand to beer cocktails and makes a farce of them, but when the same is done by one of our own!? Man, that hurts.

I refer, of course, to your April column in Esquire, which espouses five simple beer cocktails. ‘Nuff credit for including the Porteree, which is essentially a makeshift Baltic porter on ice, and for getting spicy ginger beer into the Shandy Gaff, in place of the all-too-often-substituted ginger ale or lemon soda. And throwing the Berliner Weiss into the mix was nice, even though it’s hardly “the kind of beer you can find at the local Kwik-E-Mart.”

But what’s up with your own creation, the Groundskeeper? Ardbeg and Bud? What a disservice you do to the fine spirit of Islay, dear sir. If you really can’t handle the peatiness of such a dram, may I suggest that you try instead a little water, or even soda? Please?

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7 Comments

Filed under beer news, cocktails

7 responses to “Bad Beer Cocktails Redux

  1. The only think that an Islay might go in is a creamy parsley sauce for oily fish. Other than that, as my mother the Minister’s wife said as I left for my first day at university, just drink it straight.

  2. stephenbeaumont

    Must be careful, Alan. You and I have been agreeing a bit too much of late.

  3. David Wondrich

    I’m afraid, my friend, you’re looking at this through the wrong end of the binoculars. It’s not about “what can I do to screw up this fine Islay whiskey,” but rather “just how far do I have to go to make this pathetic excuse for a beer flavorful enough to drink.” Clearly, drastic measures were required.

    But we’ll have to discuss this over pints and shots. You choose the former and I’ll pick the latter. Or vice versa.

  4. The thought of drinking Budweiser, in general, regardless of what it is mixed with, makes me want to throw up in my mouth.

    I never really jumped on the “beer cocktails” bandwagon. Every once in awhile, I will blend two beers together. For shits and giggles. But I have never ventured as far as to put spirits in beer.

    Not sure where I stand on this concept. I guess I can’t knock it until I try it.

    • stephenbeaumont

      You’re a hoppy wench, Ashley, so I’ll suggest a dash of good, aged rum in an IPA that’s more British in style than American. Then give a try to American whiskey and LBV port in oatmeal stout.

    • Gary

      What about the Bud Chelada? ;) I used to mix cheap beer with Clamato while in college, and it makes a great “lay on the cheap lawn chair in your crap garden in the heat” drink. Seriously though, I’ve tried a Bud Chelada given to me as a joke before and it did not elicit the fond beer+Clamato memories.

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